


An Imbalance of Power

by Mischieffoal



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, as in cecil can't make it through a whole radio show without talking about him, cecil/carlos is only really in this fic like it is in night vale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 01:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1532309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischieffoal/pseuds/Mischieffoal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do we know about Cecil Palmer? Very little. What does Cecil Palmer know about Cecil Palmer? We don't know enough about him to know. Is he just a normal human being? Or is he a mystical god? Or is he just somewhere in between? Does he know? And if he does, does he know what that means? Means to him? Means to Night Vale? Means to the ones he loves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Last Week

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HariSlate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HariSlate/gifts).



> This is set vaguely after "One Year Later". Well, the first two paragraphs are before "One Year Later", and after that it's after "First Date", but very, very vaguely. I've included stuff from one time, and some stuff from others. Basically, possible spoilers for up to "Missing". Canon starts diverging sort of immediately? Anyway, time doesn't work in Night Vale, so who really cares?
> 
> A gift-fic for Hari, it was a Christmas present and I thought I might as well publish it :)

“And now, an editorial. Some concerned, and anonymous, listeners have suggest by various means of communication – such as interpretive dance and telepathic moaning, that I, Cecil, have supernatural powers that are dangerous for our community, and for myself. I will dutifully answer a couple of their queries now, which should hopefully give a wider sense of understanding to all.

'It is perfectly reasonable that Telly, the barbarous barber, has not been seen since his horrific mutilating of the perfect hair from the most perfect of heads – Carlos...And that his shop, from where he practiced his madness that he called 'hair dressing', had mysteriously burnt down after I had announced Telly's crimes here, on the community radio. Or that neither the Secret Police, nor the City Council, had made any effort to discover who was behind the disappearance and arson attacks. It is all quite natural – the whole town appreciates my dear Carlos and his gorgeous hair, as well they should. It was no surprise that the people, my own dear listeners, had punished Telly for his act of evil towards our community. Who wouldn't curse the manic barber for his crimes against us all? Why on earth would anyone assume that is was through some supernatural fault of my own, out of my adoration for Carlos' perfect hair?

“There is also nothing abnormal about the general feeling and actions towards the Apache Tracker. Of course my fellow citizens share my hatred of the racist jerk. And of course nothing has changed now that he actually is Native American and only speaks Russian. He still wears that horrendously offending plastic headdress, and mutters (in Russian) about his ancient Indian magics, which aren't real. It isn't as though anyone else in our little town could think well of him. If people are insinuating that the Apache Tracker is so detested because of me, and my heightened awareness of racism because of my race, well that was just racist and whoever insinuated that was a real jerk.

“I just don't have the powers that some of my more devoted listeners insist I do – it is very flattering to be worshipped as some sort of minor deity, but I am merely mostly human, as are we all. I do not have any 'powers', and will now be reporting all future communications insinuating such things to the City Council. So do please refrain from sending any more, unless you wish to languish for an unspecified amount of time in the comfort of the disused coal mine – quite a reasonable wish, I have heard the television shows inmates can view are spectacular.

“Thank you for allowing me this editorial, and now, as an apology for bringing what could be seen as too much of my personal affairs into this show, I will now relate something almost as newsworthy.

“I feel I have to tell you about a terrible thing which occurred yesterday. I was out for a walk in the sand wastes, just contemplating the emptiness of an unopened packet of 'Devil's Delicious and Actually Amazing and in no way Damning your Soul to Hell Breakfast Cereals', and occasionally conversing with the tumbleweed – did you know that chocolate is a great soothing lotion if rubbed on to the lower tendrils? Full of useful information, those tumbleweeds – when I saw Steve Carlsberg. He was sneaking around, muttering at tumbleweeds about breakfast cereals. That man truly lights a fire of hatred within my soul! How dare he curse the desert with his cursed walk? How dare he corrupt innocent tumbleweeds with his evil speech? Really, listeners, he is a horrible, appalling man, who needs to be stopped – the sooner the better, lest more naïve tumbleweeds listen to his sneering, rotten words.

“In other news, the City Council would like to announce the lift of the ban on writing utensils, for one minute only! It is unknown when the relapse will take place, and whether...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

A mile away from the comforting red light on the top of the radio tower, Judith, of the Second Community Spy and Barbecue Unit of the Sheriff's Secret Police, listened to the well performed and easy to observe conversation between Old Woman Josie and two beings who Did Not Exist, stopped still. A higher command had come.

The higher command took her body away from the window and two blocks away. The command kicked the door down with her feet. The command located the subject with her eyes. The command burned the subject to a crisp with the fire of her soul.

As the fire left, the command told her that she had succeeded. Steve Carlsberg had been stopped.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“You may remember, dear listeners, that a few months ago, several concerned, and anonymous, listeners contacted me, claiming I had supernatural powers beyond my control. After I answered their queries, assuring them that I had nothing of the sort, they very nicely stopped sending those odd assumptions to the station. I was, of course, extremely grateful for this turn of events, as I have no wish to be even a remote cause for my listeners committing a crime. I am not sure which crime they were committing, but it's best to be on the safe side, huh? Anyway, yesterday the message started appearing again! It really is too much, listeners. To suggest that I killed the Apache Tracker is rude and impossible. If you were listening to my broadcast during that horrific event, you will find me sounding... incredibly not okay, as I was 'stuck in my booth'. That was my dying Carlos the Apache Tracker saved! Why would I want him dead? Obviously he was a racist jerk, but he saved my Carlos, who is now my boyfriend. And as my boyfriend is a scientist, perhap you'll believe him if he tells you I do not have magic powers! Actually, that is a good idea, I think I may ask him for an interview... Also, there is no way I had any influence over the burying of the Apache Tracker's monument in the desert, it was because of the feeling of the enTIRE TOWN TOWARDS HIM! … I apologise, listeners for that outburst. I have very strong feelings on the subject of my supposed supernatural prowess. I am just one of you – a member of our community.

“On that note, a look at the community calendar. On Monday, Old Woman Josie is having a birthday party for Erika. She didn't tell us which of the angels she meant by 'Erika', but she did ensure us that everyone in the town is invited, as long as they do not insist that angels aren't real... Which they aren't, of course. Tuesday, the Sheriff's Secret Police will be petitioning for...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

10:09 – Heard three hours of static from the radio, then Cecil broadcasted about listeners communicating again that they were scared of him and his supposed 'supernatural powers'. He suggested he wanted to interview me – live on radio. Will obviously refuse, as do not have data, nor know how to get any data, or if I want to get such data. I do have points of concern about Cecil, and as his partner should investigate further. Points of interest are :--

  * Cecil reports disastrous news concerning death, illness, imprisonment etc. with nonchalance and amusement.

  * Cecil believes everything he reports – occasionally things that did not exist/were not true before he reported on them exist/become true after the broadcast. (Evidently either I have not been paying good enough attention, or... something else has happened.)

  * Cecil reports on incidents as/before they occur.




Unsure whether Cecil would count these points as paranormal. Unsure whether they qualify as paranormal in a town with bloodstone rituals, dragons, faceless old women and glow clouds.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

Of course, the scientist had been technically dead when the Apache Tracker had been mortally wounded, so he hadn't seen the way the miniature warriors from the tiny city had not attacked the fake/real Native American as he saved the scientist, and then turned on him as one when the radio host declared on the radio the racism the Tracker had displayed. The scientist hadn't seen how they had torn at the Russian-speaker's body, their anger intensifying with each word the radio host spoke against him. The scientist hadn't seen the Apache Tracker could have been saved, but as the radio host told the community the Tracker was dying, his wounds began to deepen. The scientist hadn't seen that the moment the radio host related the death of racist jerk to the town was the moment he died.

 

“An agitated listener has sent a communication via carrier lizard to the effect that they believe it is through my supernatural intervention that Mayor Winchell is resigning, and that the Faceless Old Woman who Secretly Lives in Your Home received exactly half of the community's votes, with Hiram McDaniels taking the other half, despite there not being an even number of citizens legally able and forced to vote in Night Vale. In response, I can tell you that my dear Carlos has agreed to a live interview regarding my lack of supernatural powers at some point in the indefinite future. I hope, for all our sakes, that that point will come soon.

“Speaking of the mayoral elections, a keen-eyed listener has reported that the Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home, Hiram McDaniels and Pamela Winchell were all seen, together, in the company of a man in a tan jacket. It is unknown what business they were speaking on, or whom...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

11.48 Exited apartment. Calculated possibilities of interviewees.

  * Josie – friendly, easily distracted by Erikas.

  * The City Council – No. Just no. Not in any way.

  * The Sheriff's Secret Police – see entry for the City Council.

  * The Sheriff – obviously well informed, sensible, as lives in helicopter above the carnage that is Night Vale. Lives in helicopter above the carnage that is Night Vale.

  * Steve Carlsberg – useful source, seems to understand the world outside of Night Vale, declared missing three months ago.

  * Telly the Barber – see entry on Steve Carlsberg.

  * John Peters – friendly, well informed, grows imaginary corn.

  * Larry Leroy – friendly, well informed, sensible (declined the Whispering Forest), Out On The Edge Of Town.




Decided on Larry Leroy.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“I fear, listeners, that my newest intern, Tina, has something bordering on an unhealthy obsession with my Carlos. She left me a note just now, saying that she had seen Carlos walking towards the edge of town, and, I quote, 'fearing for the life of my favourite scientist', she followed him! I am very sorry to have to report that an intern trained at our own dear radio station has taken to stalking! Especially such a man as Carlos, who is most definitely capable of taking care of himself. I have to apologise for her outrageous behavior, and I assure you she will be properly reprimanded.

“On the subject of punishments, the Sheriff's Secret Police has begun a publicity campaign to encourage citizens to...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

12.06– entered the house of Larry Leroy. Could hear Cecil present the news, seemed to echo throughout the house. No visible speakers, radio on hall cabinet, dial showing 'off'. Unknown if normal. Mr. Leroy seemed pleased to see me – like everyone else in the town. Possible point for investigation? Leroy willing to answer my questions, and confirmed that the points I'd made previously concerning Cecil would not be considered paranormal in Night Vale. Leroy was about to inform me of something he did know about Cecil's supposed supernatural powers, but was interrupted. Source of interruption; outside underneath the window, at the same time as Cecil broadcasted that he would punish his intern for stalking me... Sorry, that last sentence was irrelevant. The commotion was caused by Tina, the intern Cecil was talking about. She seemed to have had a heart attack, then fallen on some sort of sharp implement, judging by the amount of blood coming from her chest. Leroy muttered something about 'just punishment' and requested I leave. I informed the SSP officer outside of Leroy's house of the death of Tina, but he didn't seem surprised, just pointed at the radio in explanation, and said 'just punishment'. Cecil had used the words in his latest broadcast. Apparently citizens quickly pick up on interesting phrases used by him. May test this theory further by asking Cecil to include some unusual words in his next broadcast. Would make sense, as most citizens have radio on in background, hence some words might be recognised subconsciously. Not my division, I'll ask Dr. Robson.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“My dear listeners, Carlos has confirmed that, as far as he can tell, I am completely normal. “Whatever normal is in this town”, he said as he cooked our dinner in a unique thing he calls a 'frying pan', “you're it”. And he really should be certain, listeners, as he knows me very well. Carlos – such a lovely name for a lovely man, almost onomatopoeically describing his character – is currently investigating precisely what is normal, and hopes to report back next week. Speaking of, I have just received a call from my beloved, and hence we go now to a message from our sponsors.

“Do you follow life's pain? Do you bask in it? Do you exit your house trembling in fear of it? Do you rejoice in it? If you experience any of these emotions, talk to Nurse Redgarth about having your pain sensors removed.

“This has been, community health care tips from Night Vale Medical Society. Who would like to point out that since StrexCorp took over our friendly community radio station, they have found... Nope, I beg forgiveness, I read the sweet wrappers incorrectly. I can now see it reads “StrexCorp has proved incredibly helpful towards our efforts to inform the community of...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

11.47– Theory that words used by Cecil are used more frequently by these unique citizens appears to be confirmed. Heard Ms. Josie basking in the sunlight on the non-existent waterfront, exclaiming to an Erika seated next to her, trembling with happiness that the “splash of water is so lovely and onomatopoeic.”

 

12.07- beg forgiveness, I have just reread my notes from earlier and it seems Cecil's word choices have been affecting me as well. Rereading that sentence proves this. Not sure what to make of this. Perhaps I am now a citizen? Perhaps it has been happening for a long time and I just haven't noticed? Unsure, but worrying either way.

 

18.32- survey ready for use. Will ask SSP to distribute it, if only to see how they go about such a task. Also, I seem to have gained their trust. Will ask reason for this.

 

18.38- surveys being distributed as I write. Note – must acquire some legal way of recording information. Asked Officer Louisa about the trust the SSP have in me. She replied that Cecil trust me. Did not understand this statement, but she would not elaborate. Dr. Robson asked if the test on words Cecil uses subconsciously implanting themselves on citizens was part of my investigation into my partner's normality. I corrected her, although it is a valid point, even if it is easily explained. It would give a reason to the suspicions raised on Cecil's paranormal powers. Will certainly link investigations.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Listeners, you will have received a questionnaire concerning normality levels through your aquarium. Take the take to fill it in, and I would be uncontrollably grateful, as it is part of Carlos' ongoing investigations into the subject of my suggested preternatural powers. As keener ears may have noticed – and the terrifying listening appendages of Station Management have, I may assure you, I have frequently been utilising extravagantly unnecessary, but gloriously, elongated words. This is also a partition of Carlos' work, and he had requested that I abstain from informing you of the reasoning behind this, until a prearranged and opportune moment! Anyway, I strongly advise you to fill in the forms at once, and then submit them through the usual method.

“Big Rico's Pizza have announced that they will be coordinating with Carlos and his team of scientists to discover whether wheat and wheat-by-products are veritably still as dangerous as they once were. If the tests prove...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

19.13- completed surveys are already being returned. Perhaps Cecil's suggestion of his gratitude was an incentive? Note – did not know that we were co-ordinating with Mr. Rico. Will ask him about this. The survey results thus far have shown that Night Vale citizens feel ludicrously normal. And that everything in Night Vale is, in fact, normal. I know I shouldn't have made presumptions before the results came back, but the option of Night Vale considering itself normal had never crossed my mind, and I am unsure of what to do with this data.

 

19.47- every single survey has been completed and returned. Every single one. These notes aren't very coherent as I am currently basking in the amazing insanity that is Night Vale. And Cecil's arms.

 

20.45- apologies for those last notes. The conversation with Cecil that ensued did bring up, obviously, the subject of my illegal use of writing implements. Cecil seemed concerned that I was breaking the law - “concerned for your safety” - but also seemed to understand my annoyance at said law. Didn't think he could even think about going against Council laws. Our conversation didn't exactly have scientific interest after that. Although it would make for an interesting, private, investigation. Anyway. Asked Rico about the supposed collaboration – he thought we'd organised it, but he said “It seems a veritably glorious idea”, then coughed and begged forgiveness for the excessively extravagant words. As he did so, he looked uncomfortable with what he was saying, and reverted to mime, to the effect that we will start working on this problem by Monday. I will stay working on the normality investigation, and let my team take part in the wheat and wheat-by-products experiment.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Listeners, wondrous news! Well, it maybe wondrous to some, and not so much to others. I apologise to those others among you. Anyway... the City Council is going to infinitely lift the ban on writing implements! Among the people I am sure it will benefit are Carlos and his team of scientists, who I presume have had to have vastly improved their memory these past few months. On the subject of scientists, and especially Carlos, his exploration of normality is going well, and although he doesn't have an end in sight to his investigation, so far he is confident that all the, quote, “concrete knowledge I have can only lead to the conclusion that Cecil Palmer is a completely normal Night Vale citizen.”, unquote. So, what I think he means is that he has all the information he needs and is now carrying on because he has hit upon a point of interest in Night Vale normality.

“I have just been informed that a Big Top has materialised in a here-to non-existent space between the Night Vale Public Library and the Night Vale Private Library. Be sure to welcome the circus tent, as it must be feeling lonely as the only sentient tent in our town – for all we know, the only sentient tent in the world. So, make certain...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

13.16- writing this using a now legal ballpoint pen. If I didn't know it was scientifically impossible, would believe that Cecil had influenced the Council's decision. It is scientifically impossible, as no communications were made between the radio station and the City Hall. However, scientific impossibilities seem to make it their aim in non-existence to exist in Night Vale. Will continue later, Dr. Robson is asking for me.

 

13.20- quick report. Dr. Robson told me Larry Leroy called to suggest I listen to the archives of the radio broadcasts from 06-15-13. Am going to the library now to find these recordings.

 

14.07- was not aware that the broadcasts were from that time. Was aware of date, but not of its significance. Feel as though have listened to something very private, no matter how public the radio show. Was not truly aware of how much my 'death' affected my Cecil... Not sure why I just used a possessive noun for my boyfriend, but it seem right to leave it in. Will talk to Cecil about this, possibly with the aid of physical contact. He is very tactile, by anyone's standards, especially for someone whose strength is his voice. Apologies for the personal thoughts, but I feel they are important to these notes.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Listeners, the sweetest thing just happened to me! My dearest Carlos came to my apartment, and then gave me the most fantastic hug ever, all because he'd recently heard my reaction to his death live on air! Isn't that the cutest thing? He is so adorable!

“And now, a message from our sponsors: what is green? Who is red? Why is black? How...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

16.23- Cecil does seem to make it his prerogative to embarrass me as much as is possible, but I don't think he understands the concept of embarrassment. For example, I heard his speech about my being adorable as I was talking to Mr. Leroy. He was glad I had taken his advice and listened to the audio, but also urged me to watch the security footage from the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, whilst listening to the broadcast. Have to admit, originally though he just wanted me to know how Cecil had felt – relationship advice from citizens is common, considering the public nature of our partnership. Apparently not. Will ask Teddy Williams if can access the security tapes. Have Leroy's written 'judgement' that I can watch them, not sure how much it will help. Hope they still have them.

 

16.54- have the security tape. Asked librarian if could access the archives again. Note – why are citizens scared of librarians? They seem perfectly helpful, and normal... That might be why, because they seem normal to me, an outsider, and being that normal could be too much for a citizen here. Will ask Cecil. Am about to listen to the radio broadcast and watch the security footages. Will report findings afterwards.

 

17.40- Don't know what to tell Cecil. Don't know if I should tell City Council/SSP. Have a feeling it won't make any difference. Leroy obviously knows about it, and he is still under its influence. I know I have to tell Cecil, because he doesn't know. Just have to hope he can stop it.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Listeners, Carlos the scientist today was seen starting work on the experiments on wheat and wheat-by-products. When asked what he was doing about the investigation into normality, he replied that he had got the results he needed and could now forget about it, and start on something new. So there you have it – I am perfectly normal. Night Vale's most p-perfect scientist has confirmed. I-I-I... I am sorry. I-I give you, [the Weather."](https://play.spotify.com/track/33kyBXJhmKCC4NKhmfshET)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the link to the Weather works - I could only find it on Spotify, but if you search "Sometimes I forget things" by the Spooky Men's Chorale, it should come up.


	2. Never Happened

12.35- started work with Rico. Going smoothly so far, waiting for results of first test on quarantined wheat. Note – can't remember last week. Know there was a last week, as the calendar has been turned seven times. Will ask others if they have also experienced memory problems. My notes from last week have gone as well – therefore it is most likely a cause of the re-education the City Council has been threatening me with. Will ask if there are any adverse side effects, and in the mean time will study the obvious symptoms.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

The radio host sat in his booth in slowly heightening terror.

“...but as the City Council has constantly reminded citizens, angels aren't real...”

As the radio host finished his broadcast and switched to a pre-recorded advertisement, a startled junior intern crashed into the relative calm of his booth.

“Old Woman Josie's angels are gone!”

But of course, the angels were never there in the first place.

The radio host pushed away the unnecessary interruption. The broadcast was about to begin once more. The radio host wanted to test something.

“And in other news, Hiram McDaniels and the Faceless Old Woman Who Live in Your Home have agreed to a coalition mayorship, effective immediately, as ex-Mayor Pamela Winchell is going on a permanent vacation to undisclosed locations tomorrow, and has no time for mayoral duties, as she has to pack.

“The Sheriff's Secret Police would like to welcome a new...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

17.14- noticed an unusual occurrence on today's community radio broadcast – Cecil seems to be reporting news before it has happened. Never thought the five headed dragon and the creepy old woman would collaborate, but this is Night Vale. Not sure if their joint mayorship will be for good or bad, but as far as I can tell the Mayor(s) have no actual impact in City wide decisions. Something else odd – the angels that lived with Ms. Josie are no longer there. She said there no warning, just one moment there, one moment gone. Presume City Council is happy about this, as they have been insisting angels don't exist ever since they arrived, as Cecil tells the citizens every time Josi and/or the Erikas are mentioned in his reports.Wheat investigation going well, unfortunately some of the samples are showing signs of unusual behaviour. Since displaying any behaviour at all is unusual for wheat, probably reason to worry, but I'm hoping that if we carry on, soon enough I'll be able to eat bread again.

 

11.12- not sure what's going on, but all the news Cecil reports appears to be good news. I know most people would appreciate some good news, especially in such a town as Night Vale. However, this being Night Vale, seems good reason to be worried about good news, when every other announcement has either been awful, or an awful trap. As well as the mayoral candidates working together: librarians are becoming docile towards citizens; the suspicious helicopters with murals on (the ones that kidnapped all the children once) have disappeared; the miniature warriors from the city underneath the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex have taken to doing odd jobs around the town – like brownies, I suppose. Just hope this break from the horror that is everyday life here doesn't go pearshaped.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Some interesting news, listeners. StrexCorp has decided to sell— keep the radio station and control of Night Vale FOREVER. Err... Yes, Strex has assured citizens it is here to stay.

“Dark Owl Records have announced that the wooden crates in the desert – you remember, the ones that sometimes ticked, sometimes did not, that were transferred in the middle of the desert from one truck to another? Although if you do remember the crates, you are being completely illegal and should report yourself to the Secret Police. Anywar, those wooden crates are actually only Dark Owl Records' deliveries of new stock for their record store, so I was right when I said they would never prove any harm to us, if you can illegally remember my saying that. They're just disk storage!

“Also, the Sheriff himself announced, via pig entrails, that...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

13.57- it's like everything bad that has happened in Night Vale since I arrived has been countered in the last two days! Obviously not everything, that's an exaggeration. Something I can think of that I don't understand is the seismic waves that we should be feeling. Obviously should be pleased, butr  am actually feeling more terrified of Night Vale that I ever have. A town like Night Vale – and I'm being very unscientific about this – won't be able to survive very long without horror of some sort. For a start, Cecil would be out of a job...

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Carlos tells me that he has discovered the reason behind the massive seismic reading he receives daily, and yet we feel no effects of! Isn't that wonderful? The answer to that mystery is the same as why it is impossible to leave Night Vale – well, except to go to Desert Bluffs, but no one wants to go there. Anyway, it seems that our little town is built on a raised platform – I suppose like a hovercraft. So, since we are above the earth, no seismic waves can affect us! Which is just perfect!”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

16.05- definitely exaggerating earlier when I said everything was cleared up. I didn't know about the hovercraft theory on the lack of earthquakes, but guess that one of my team must have told Cecil about it. Not that it makes any sense. A town this size could not be hovering. It is impossible.

 

16.17- wish I hadn't written that. It's floating. It is actually floating.

 

16.23- asked Dr. Robson, Peters, and all, and no one will own up to informing Cecil about the floating. No one knew about the floating. Will ask Cecil about this.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Listeners, the scientists have confirmed that all wheat and wheat-by-products are safe for consumption! It really has been a good week for discoveries, especially of the nice kind. But then, nasty discoveries just aren't worth our time. Remember when John Peters – you know, the farmer? - found that one crop of his imaginary corn was actually highly dangerous and could kill us all? No, you don't, because it was a nasty discovery and it wasn't worth our time. John would like to point out...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

17.32- would like to say that we did anything to the bread to make it normal again, but that was nothing to do with us. Rico's very pleased. I'm pleased, still worried about what this could mean.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“The City Council has announced the state of the art harbour and waterfront that they built last year does, in fact, exist. They have also announced that, by powers they exert that there will be... actual water there? Not sure how they're gonna manage that, but let's hope they do!

“Five helicopters were seen circling in the air about the Arbys, in a sort of ballet based on Tchaikovsky's ...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

21.08- there is water in the waterfront. It's not even an oasis, there is actually enough water to fill the harbour and some illusion that makes it seem like the water carries on into an ocean that used to be a desert. CC effected heat generators to create a mirage? Will investigate.

 

21.56- it's not a mirage. It is actually water. There is now an entire ocean outside the city. I'm

giving up for the day. Though there isn't much chance it'll be gone by morning.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

07.16- The ocean is still there. Sitting on the waterfront watching it, listening to Cecil broadcast the (good, always good) news. This town, I swear.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“As a result of the sudden appearance of an ocean in our... desert community? In our ex-desert community, we have received word that... that Desert Bluffs has been d-destroyed in the flood. Ummm... I'm not sure what to say here. I mean, it was Desert Bluffs, which was a frankly awful city, but... It was a city, and there were people living there, however annoying they were. I-I'm sure the City Council didn't mean to commit genocide, I-I... ahem. Let's go to [the Weather."](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKtlK7sn0JQ)

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

07.33- Cecil seemed more upset than expected as he reported the loss of Desert Bluffs. I was terribly upset, but then I'm normal. No, that was mean. Anyway, going to see if he's okay.

 

09.16- Cecil was definitely not okay, but he's calmed down a little worried about his mental health – he told me my hugs have mystic powers. And that he hates Sundays and Thursday afternoons. Since the ocean came, the temperature has been a lot nicer towards humans with heat receptors, although I think the drainage system is confused. My shower keeps grumbling at me about having to share a water tank with salt water. Assured it the water had been purified, then realised I was talking to a shower.

 

10.45- at Radio Station with Cecil. As walked here, were assailed by a miniature person originally from the underground city. Were surprised it had no harmful intentions, but it just wanted to deliver a message from Larry Leroy out on---- No, I refuse to write those stupid nicknames Cecil. But. No.

 

11.17- went to Mr. Leroy's at his request. Told me to listen to Cecil's broadcast from last week. Asked him if he could remember last week, he confirmed he could – rules out mass memory loss. Am going to library to find the recordings now.

 

11.26- there are no recordings from last week – no translatable recordings, only static. The librarians – they are all scarily nice now, to everyone – recommended I listen to the broadcast from 06-15-13. The librarian gave me the recording and a security tape to watch as well. Not sure why, but I'll watch/listen to them.

 

11.57 – nothing special about the broadcast. Obviously weird experiencing it from two other points of view, and I didn't know Cecil was so upset, but really didn't discover anything amazing. When I told librarian this, it seemed disgruntled, so I left the library ASAP.

 

00.12- There was no pm yesterday. It was 11.59 am, and then 00.01 am. Probably a scheduling error – how can a council forget or double book time?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link should definitely work this time, it's just a youtube one!


	3. As a Result of Double Booking Time

“The City Council apologises for the accidental deletion of yesterday afternoon. Also... expect all further Thursday afternoons and entire Sundays to not happen, ever.

“The Night Vale Medical Centre would like to remind citizens to look after their hearts. There has been a major outbreak of escaped hearts lately and it is...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

10.08- it was a scheduling error. Seems that the CC shares Cecil's view on certain days of the week. I liked Sundays. I----- Sorry, my hand jerked violently of its own accord... I think perhaps I wouldn't talk about my defying CC's decisions. It wasn't because of defying CC, then – but I've been using a pen every since I arrived here, and nothing untoward came of that. That may have been Cecil's influence.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Due to the increase in cooler temperatures, due to the new ocean, due to the waterfront recreation area... it has been announced that Marcus Vansten, the owner and sole user of the Night Vale Private Library with its interactive children's area complete with a pirate ship in a large swimming pool, will be incorporated into the Night Vale Public Library and be open for the use of every citizen! Marcus really is such a great person.

“And now a message from our sponsors- They know you kept the Secret Slab. They know, and they are coming to find you and take it from you, along with your mortal sandwiches. Beware of...”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

Voice Memo, 11.03- Starting using a voice recording system for ease of recording. Whose fantastic idea was it to join the two libraries? There are now two buildings, and librarians have access to both, but there is a big top inbetween them, which the librarians have to circumnavigate to get to the next building, hence the librarians have escaped. They weren't even faking their change of heart – witnessed two of them nicely mauling five citizens merely six metres outside of the library.  Am going to try and help round up the others.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“In reaction to the completely accidental release of the librarians from the library, the lions, griffins and other “big cats” are to be released from Night Vale Zoo. On being released the cats will aid Secret Police with the capture and slaying of the librarians. If...anyone...needed a reminder that librarians are awful creatures eager to destroy our town, this it it.

“My new supervisor, Daniel, is signalling me to... Hang on, the signalling is getting too complex. I'll go out and see what he wants, whilst you have [the Weather."](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI)

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

VM, 11.78- don't ask me how we've suddenly got more minutes to the hour, haven't even started investigating yet. Currently dealing with the repercussions of an even more idiotic persons 'good' idea. We now have to deal with lions, tigers, and things that look suspiciously like something from Wonderland, as well as librarians. 'We' are the SSP, Larry Leroy, John Peters, what I think is the ghost of Steve Carlsberg and Scoutmaster Earl Harlan and his entire Scout Troop. Tamika Flynn and her friends (think they're actually her malitia) are guarding the entrance to both libraries, ensuring no more librarians escape. This may be the last I ever record on here – but I take my life n my hands every moment I stay in Night Vale.    Love you, Cecil.

  
  


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Oh no, this is bad news. Tamika Flynn has been killed by a librarian's fury swipes. I-I am dreadfully sorry for her loss. Our hearts go out to Tamika's family on this— wait! I am just receiving a, report, that Tamika has been resurrected! And we'll have our hearts back, please, Ms Flynn, because my interns are currently suffering from cardiac... Well, it's not arrest, I suppose it's cardiac detainment.”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

VM, 11.109- don't know what's going to happen when it reaches 12.00, but I hope it happens soon. Larry Leroy keeps trying to give me a set of headphones that, although they aren't wired to anything will probably broadcast Cecil's show. Don't have time for distractions, but he is persistent, so I might give in.    Zut.   Tamika Flynn is dead. And running straight at me.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“A-and the hooded figures have joined what looks set to be the largest battle since Gordon the plumber insulted the Mayor's tree spirits. Also, it seems that the dog park has opened its gates in what must be an attempt to help! Ummm... Daniel seems to be getting unnecessarily upset again, I think it might be because he is freed from StrexCorp's vile imprisonment... Oh my God, that worked. I, I just... threw my... shoe... in his general direction and he calmed down! And now all the town is freed from the chains of Strex!”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

VM, 11.127- hitting with a crashing Strex helicopter is a good way of killing – zombies? They're not really zombies, they don't want to eat us, but they are definitely reincarnated children. And there are definitely Strex helicopters falling down all over the place.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Some listeners have noticed that time is refusing to move forwards. This is because it is a Thursday, and the afternoon doesn't exist. It is unsure what the effects would be if twelve hours were lost during a war, so it has been decided that it will stay at eleven o'clock until we are all completely safe.

“It seems that this station's favourite five headed dragon has joined the fight! Our Mayor is proving himself by defending his town!”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

VM, 11.156- I'm really looking forward to twelve o'clock. Also, Hiram McDaniels just appeared out of nowhere and is breathing fire everywhere, regardless of the amount of people, or on which side they were fighting. God bless our Mayor. The dog park gates just opened and everyone is even more terrified as the 'plastic bags' have come back to haunt us. I'm going to go and find Larry, because knowing Cecil, the radio will be the most reliable source of information. Oh, and Dr. Robson... is no longer with us. Ummm... Yeah, Larry.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“I-I am happy to announce that the miniature people from the underground city are joining the fight! Oh, and the City Council has finally issued a warning to all citizens that we are now in a state of war. Remember, your war survival kits are hidden beneath the potted plant next to the freezer in your basement – you know, the one with the blue spikes that attacks anyone if they try to get out any frozen food? Well, the survival kits should have been activated by now, so although we have no idea what they actually do, you should take everyone you love to your basement, along with a pack of carrion deterrents, and, of course, your radio.

“Oh, I just received a … message detailing the use of the war survival kit. It seems that once all members of the household are assembled, unless one or more are directly involved in the fighting, the kit will grow limbs and these appendages will attach themselves to your waist, and then dematerialise, and then reappear in a place of safety. So hurry on down to your basements!”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

VM, 11.172- Successfully found Larry, and am now listening to Cecil's show, which is, as I expected, by far the best source of information. Wasn't aware that everyone else had a flesh-hungry plant next to the basement freezer, but this is Night Vale, so... I'm glad the Council are finally doing something right – although who knows what a “place of safety” is to those beings on the council. And— Fuck, the Glow Cloud has come to see what all the fuss is about. Will report later.

 

VM, 11.180- the Glow Bloud is, amazingly, on our side. To be honest, it's the only thing I'm sure is, apart from us mere humans. Would have been very useful to have had some angelis help, but since they stopped existing a few days ago, no help there. Damnit, I'm a scientist, not a warrior. At least Cecil is still his normal, insane, self.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Listeners, those of you who are not fighting will be gone in two minutes, thirty four seconds. I wish you well, in that place of safety, and I hope that one day, you will return to find Night Vale again. Those of you still fighting – I-I wish you every success, and I would join you, but it seems you are using my intel to stage your attacks, so in my booth I shall stay. Carlos, my dear Carlos, I know you are listening, I'm sorry.

“For not being there to help. I'm sorry for not being there to help.

“It seems a vague yet menacing government agency has come to help us bring these challengers back down to earth! Well done, Vague Yet Menacing Government Agency, and thank you!”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

VM, 11.194- well, I'm glad Cecil warned me. The bench next to me just turned into an agent from AVYMGA. I'd love to know how Cecil gets his information, as I'm pretty sure I just saw the City Council get into their helicopters and fly off very fast. Sensible people. Never though I'd say that about the Council. Also, all of the SSP are in the fight here – I don't know where the Sheriff himself is, as I haven't seen his helicopter for a while. That means that he's either legged it or is also fighting, so I still don't understand. Perhaps Cecil's interns are learning war reporting on the fly.   Wow, those government agents are good shots.   And Cecil, I know you are not listening, but I need you in that booth. You don't have to apologise for not fighting. I wouldn't still be in this town if it wasn't for you, and I definitely don't want to carry on fighting if you're not there to cheer me on... That was incredibly sappy. Sorry.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“And now – oh! I have just received word that my broadcasts are encouraging you all to keep fighting! That is truly lovely of you to say that, listeners! Well, I hope this cheers you even more – the Sheriff is indeed fighting alongside you all!”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

VM, 11.203- seriously, where does he get his intel? And the Sheriff? Is indeed fighting alongside us all. Literally. There is a clone of him next to every person fighting for Night Vale. The one next to me is wearing a bright pink tuxedo and wielding a sharpened croc slipper. It actually seems to be working against feral dogs. Also, the salt water in the harbour is a good antidote for infectious bites from said feral dogs. Oh yeah, they're not fighting on our side. Of course not.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“The Sheriff has just authorised the release of the prisoners in the abandoned mine shaft! Seeing as their only way out has already passed them by, I'm sure the ex-convicts will be very happy to fight for their town!”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

VM, 11.215- The Sheriff in the pink tuxedo seems to be having an attack of some sort. Will report later.   Sheriff?

 

VM, 11.217- the Sheriff didn't order the release of the prisoners. Nor did any of his Secret Police. Also, he says he was brought down from his helicopter against his will – he says he was teleported here? Something weird is going on here, and I don't just mean a war that started out with some escaped librarians, under an hour ago. But then, it has been a very long hour. If I have any time, I will try and investigate further, but right now Teddy Williams has turned up and needs to be directed to the wounded.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Carlos, my beautiful Carlos, has sent word that Teddy Williams has successfully treated all wounded warriors, and they are now even more eager to fight than ever! We are so lucky to have a bowling alley owner on our side.”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

VM, 11.234- I didn't send word. And they weren't all healed, and they weren't all healed, and they definitely weren't eager to fight. They are completely healthy now, and they've practically become berserkers with their longing for bloodshed. Something is very, very wrong, and I think it has to do with Cecil.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“I'm sure you remember the awe-inspiring ceremony when Franklin Wilson and Barton Donovan reached the rank of Eternal Scout? With the spectacular— ah, excuse me, it seems I have a visitor, in the perfect form of Carlos. It seems a bit bizarre to have such a mundane section in a time of war, but I'm sure there are some people who look forward everyday to the forecast, so we go now, to, [the Weather."](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68wJIQbCtlI#t=00m44s)

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

11.256- It is Cecil. He didn't say anything at first, just kissed me. He's not okay, but I don't know what to do about it. He asked me to forget his involvement, and seemed shocked when I refused. I realised now that since last week, things have happened that are odd even here, and I think they can all be attributed to this... power. Whatever it is that he has, he probably aimed to used it for the good of our town – like the bread becoming normal again. I missed bread, we all did. Also, I'm starting to remember last week. Someone, Cecil, I think, asked me to investigate normality, or something like that. Was Cecil worried? Was I worried? Did he make me forget I was worried? I don't know what to do now. I want Night Vale to win this war, but if we do win, will Cecil keep this power? He is barely controlling it now, and I think soon it could take over. I love him, but... I don't know. I love him.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“As I was saying before the break, listeners, you remember the spectacular end of the Eternal Scout ceremony, when Franklin and Barton were encased in ice until they were desperately needed outside of City Hall? Well, that hour is upon us! Carlos is there now, to ask, in any way he can, for their help. And... Yes, they have accepted his plea! The ice is breaking apart, shards are flying everywhere – the seem quite deadly... and... NO! Carlos! no... I can't lose him again! Again, stuck in my booth! Again, so much blood! Again! Car-Carlos... and now, a-again, a previously recorded public service announcement.

“Grapefruit – tasty, nice looking, deadly if left alone with elderly relatives. Will instantly reveal its true, terrible form and devour them. Bananas – comfortably shaped for eating, delicious, poisonous to those who have recently received a note from the library regarding overdue books. Coconuts – life-saving-thirst-quenching, great for amateur dramatics. Highly dangerous if left with teenagers – will take control of their minds and force them to destroy their house in imaginative ways. This has been, Children's Fun Fact Science Corner!”

“Carlos, my perfect scientist is dead. Teddy Williams confirmed.

“I take it back. Take it all back. Nothing, nothing is worth this pain. I take it all back.”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

As the radio host says these words, he sees, in the same unaccountable way he has seen everything for the last few hours, the effect of the words take place. He watches in terror of what he has done. In terror of what he is undoing.

Shards of ice retract from the scientist's body and elsewhere to reform perfect crystal encasing the highest ranking scouts in the world, but the visions do not stop.

Wounded people start to die of their wounds and none among them wishes to ever wield a weapon once more.

The ex-prisoners are drawn by some unknown force back to their free wi-fi cells, which lock forever.

The Sheriff, in all of his many forms, are conglomerated into one being, which then quickly rises to meet the helicopter he had lived in for decades on end.

Agents from a vague yet menacing government agency turned back into benches.

Families reappeared in groups huddled around plant pots.

The miniature people from the miniature city underneath lane five of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex strategically retreated to their homes.

Hiram McDaniels dunked his heads into the new ocean to extinguish the flames, and flew away.

StrexCorp helicopters reappeared in the skies, and Daniel reappeared outside of the radio host's booth.

The Dog Park sucked the hooded figures back inside its dark interior and shut its gates.

Tamika Flynn's dead body dropped to the ground, accompanied by all the other children in her malitia.

Tamika Flynn's dead body breathed with old life, accompanied by all the other children in her malitia.

The various big cats slunk two by two back to their concrete enclosures in Night Vale Zoo.

The librarians stalked back to the Public Library.

The once Public Library became private again, and for the sole use of Marcus Vansten.

Sundays and Thursday afternoons returned to existence.

The ocean receded, from all the desert it had overtaken, including Desert Bluffs, where all the residents thanked a smiling god for their lives.

The wheat and wheat-by-products by products nestled harmlessly in the scientist's lab broke free of their containers, and attacked the nearest researchers as the bread turned into vengeful spirits, then snakes.

The hovercraft that supported Night Vale spluttered and died. The small berg and surrounding desert descended slowly onto the earth, where it experienced its first earthquake.

The wooden crates in the desert expelled the disks they had been filled with and some of them began to tick, and others did not.

The librarians reformed to their normal, bloodthirsty selves.

Pamela Winchell returned from her holiday, and the Faceless Old Woman who Secretly Live in your Home and Hiram McDaniels broke their coalition.

The angels reappeared inside Old Woman Josie's living room and immediately began to tidy up.

The scientist remembered all that had occurred in the previous week.

The City Council, having returned in their helicopters, reinstated the ban on writing implements.

Big Rico and the scientist's team of scientists stopped investigating wheat and wheat-by-products.

Larry Leroy's pitchfork exited Intern Tina's chest and she slowly rose again.

The fire of Judith's soul left Steve Carlsberg and both went about their life as normal.

The flames vanished from Telly's barber shop, and business continued as normal.

The radio host saw everything fade to darkness, and the invisible teleporting clock tower struck twelve as he heard a curse being put upon himself, by himself, and he knew his fate. But it was too late. He had changed his fate, and the clock had struck twelve.

 

“Oh... A truly fearful thing has happened, listeners. Carlos, standing triumphantly in the toy-scaled city, was attacked by tiny people using projectiles and explosives. He fell back to the side of the small hole in the pin retrieval area of lane five, blood welled through his shirt, and here I am, stuck in my booth, useless, only able to narrate and not to help. He staggered, fell to his knees — so much blood! He collapsed completely... Why did it have to be this town that saw Carlos die? Why me? Why... Let us…take this moment— Ladies and gentlemen, let us mourn the pass— Can’t. I can’t! I am still holding this trophy! I— We go now to this puh— …pre-recorded public service announcement.

“The City Council would like to remind listeners of the danger of rashly using curses. Remember, although there are only certain times, when the temperature, the phase of the moon and the height of the tide align, that a carelessly spoken curse will come into effect, but it is impossible to tell when those times are. Also, if you're in a difficult emotional state, the boundaries of the alignment may shift. Careless curses cust lives, Night Vale!

“T-Teddy Williams has confirmed, that Carlos, perfect Carlos, has indeed been murdered in this first act of war from the miniature people. All the things I didn't say... Avenge him, Night Vale! I-I implore you to avenge the destruction of the most intelligent, beautiful, perfect of beings, Carlos the scientist. Please.

“The City Council is arranging a... funeral, for Carlos. I will, of course, inform you of the details once they are decided. I apologise if this broadcast is a little shorter than normal, but I am sure you understand. In light of recent events, I beg you to arm yourselves for the defence of our city, and to avenge him, Night Vale. Avenge him.”

 

_** FIN ** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, my first Night Vale fic. All Hari's fault. Mostly written on the Eurostar to and from Paris.


End file.
